Hi! My name is Stephanie and I’m living my home-going-life on planet earth. I grew up in Holland and as a child, I often had a feeling of homesickness. Not only when I left my parents house for a sleep over.
This empty feeling of not belonging could sweep me off of my feet at any moment. Even at home. It was confusing.
Why could’t I just be happy like other kids my age? During my teens I kept on looking for an answer. I felt unhappy and misunderstood most of the time but I could not figure out what exactly was ‘wrong with me’. From the outside, I had a fine life: parents still together, a sister, some friends and even a boyfriend at one time. But on the inside I could not make sense of it all.
Is this supposed to make me really happy? I was not getting it.
During those years I learned a lot about myself, my mind and how my thoughts influenced my feelings. At one point I found a switch which abled me to turn off the feeling of homesickness when needed. It would still be there, but I knew how to not let it get to me. I could also turn it on, but of course that was something I rather not did. It also worked with other negative feelings by the way! I thought: great, now I can be happy for the rest of my life.
All those teachings about the power of the mind were valuable, but it didn’t get me to fully understand myself, my life and human beings in general.
I felt like there was a missing piece. And it was only after leaving an abusive relationship (while being six months pregnant of our second son) that my journey to profound understanding began. This led me to complete freedom and a rock steady feeling of belonging. That vast knowing that all is well, no matter the circumstances. That I am at the right place. At the right time. Always. That there is no need to hurry. That there is nothing for me to do. That I am not alone. I am home.
A knowing that even when I do not feel all that much ‘love, peace and happiness’ it’s OK as well. Because I am human. I am brave. I am here. I am.
Here’s a quick summary of my life:
- I was born on the 8th January in 1987 and had a pretty normal and overall happy childhood, thanks to my lovely parents and little sister.
- Somewhere around 2000 I red my first self-help-book. It must have been from Wayne Dyer. Since then I never stopped reading them until getting a bit fad up with all the ‘you-can-fix-your-own-life-so-if-you-are-a-mess-it’s-your-own-fault’ kinda vibe. It was around the time I moved to Portugal I guess. From then on life gave me all the circumstances I needed to practice my gained wisdom and insights. And boy did I got the chance to practice!
- Between 2005 and 2009 I traveled to the Western part of Africa for volunteer work. It was during my studies. In total I’ve spend 11 months on that continent. I feel much love for and attraction to Africa.
- 2009 finished my degree in Social Studies and got my first job as a teacher.
- 2010 quit my first job as a teacher to become a full time entrepreneur and educated myself in topics such as NLP, hypnoses, (online) business marketing.
- 2012 discovery of the century while reading the book ‘Quiet: the power of introverts in a world that can’t stop talking’: I’m a highly sensitive introvert!
- 2013 during a 6 week workation in Portugal I fell in love with a Portugese man, got pregnant and moved over right away. Happy with this new direction in life.
- 2014 we welcomed Bruno into the world.
- 2016 things got from relatively good, to bad to dangerously wrong very quickly. But, being a mother ánd being pregnant of our second baby made me feel so very powerful. I knew that leaving this abusive relationship was the best thing to do. If not for me, then for my two children. I left in the summer and in autumn of that same year Rúben was born. I received lot’s of help and love from friends and family.
- 2016 was also the year in which I felt my spirit guides for the first time in a very physical way. I always kinda new that I’ve had help from above but since then something had shifted. I new that I never more had to feel unsafe or alone. They’ve got my back.
- 2017 launched a successful tourism business called Thuis in Lissabon (that’s Dutch for ‘feeling at home in Lisbon’) working on my own terms and loving it!
- Continued the real journey inwards. It began with answering this question: how could a smart girl like me allow someone for abusing and mistreating her so badly?
- 2017 was also the year in which I was operated on my gallbladder, which was removed. Over a year time (it started during my second pregnancy) I had many pain attacks during which I would almost lose consciousness. This is a natural reaction of the body when it experiences too much pain to handle. On those moments I had to call someone (usually my mother) to keep talking to me so that I wouldn’t faint.
- During 2017 I had lost a total of 10 kilo’s (which is really a lot for a tall girl with a usual weight of 60 kg) because of the galbladder stones. However it did not stop me from breastfeeding and taking care of the boys, the business and our house. It was not easy. In fact it was so hard that well… I don’t even have the words. I was exhausted.
- Looking back, I think no human being could go through all of that without having a strong connection to the universal source of love, wisdom and strength. I had that. Always.
- 2018 the business is growing, the boys are growing and my insight is growing. Found the answer to that question ‘how could this have happende to me?’
- 2019 started off with serious signs of a burn-out, including panic attacks. I reached out for help and started to heal parts of my soul that I never new existed. Parts that were so lonely. And so broken. Both from this life as from earlier lived lives. I can truly say that by doing so, the second part of my life had begun.
- Towards the end of that same year I was able buy a lovely family home for me and my boys. Bruno already writes his own name, makes sudoku’s and creates the most beautiful drawings. Rúben is a rebel who just loves to run and play that he is spider man. He eats anything he can get his hands on. It’s delightful to have the two of them around Delightful. And stressful. And tiring. And oh how surprised I still can be about the fact that these two beings choose me as their mother (and him as their father)!
- 2020: time to share my story and bring my light into the world.